Chris Cornell…WTF?

Many of you know of Chris Cornell, yet you might not even know of it. He sang vocals for a little band called Soundgarden, which if any of you don’t know of the band, they made that song “Black Hole Sun” (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qiSkyEyBczU) that was on Guitar Hero or Rock Band or whatever you kids are playing these days. When Soundgarden broke up, he formed a band with the remaining members of Rage Against the Machine after they lost Zach De La Roche back in 2000 called Audioslave (which had one good song, Shadow on the Sun). Then, after not receiving even more money for his “contributions” to the band, he left and produced a shitty solo record. He made an unforgivable cover of Michael Jackson’s “Billie-Jean” and then went on a tour that no one cared about. He basically went from being that cool guy with long hair, to the unbearable prick who looks like he belongs in a Gap commercial. Nice job, Chris. Really. You alienated all of your fans in order to be a pop star.

So what’s he up to today? Apparently, he just got finished making a new record with Timbaland. Yes, you heard correctly. He made a record with the guy who uses recycled beats and calls it music. I didn’t think it was possible for two blends of shit like them to cross together until I heard this:

and then saw this:

Why Chris? Why did you have to go and soil your decent reputation with Soundgarden and make something as disgusting as Arby’s?

If you haven’t thrown up from those videos yet, check out this one, in which Chris and Timbaland sit down and talk about the new album.

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=44175405

They compare it to “Pink Floyd” and “Queen”. Chris even says he was jealous of Missy Elliott. What the fuck?

Chris, please just stop. Burn the master copies of those tapes from this record, hole up on a desert island with beer and hot chicks and enough crack to kill Tony Montana, and STAY AWAY from music. It’s for the best. Everyone really wins with this solution.

RIP Chris Cornell (July 20, 1964 – April 9, 1997)

We’re sorry your evil twin has fucked up your reputation.

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