Activision Kills Guitar Hero….Thank Fuck

First off, fuck video games. I’ll admit that I used to eat that shit up when I was younger, but once you’ve had a roommate that hogs the TV so he can shout “FUCKING BITCH” at some 14 year old Chinese kid across the globe at 2 AM, you’d be a bit biased too. So yeah, fuck video games. They’re for dorks.

Secondly, good news came today in that Activision is closing up shop on their ever popular Guitar Hero franchise. I’ll admit, that thing was fun for about 5 minutes. Then I remembered that I have a real guitar. But after numerous carbon copies and a bunch of kids getting too into it, I literally threw that shit out. Couldn’t handle it or the snotty attitudes that these video game dorks had about this game.

There used to be kids who claimed that Guitar Hero skills are more impressive than real guitar skills. Seriously? I remember when kids used to get beat up for saying stupid shit like that. For the price you pay for an X-box and one of those ugly looking controllers, you could buy a decent guitar and learn the songs for real.

For those who are actually bummed by this news, how could you not see this coming when they had the king of all that’s lame, Gene Simmons, start advertising for them?

“Wanna know how it feels to be a rockstar? Play it and you’ll know.”

Gene’s pretty much just encouraged anyone who will still listen to his tired spiel that they should be bed wetters for the rest of their lives. I could go on about Gene but that’s another story for another time.

Finally, to all of those who are still bummed, let me ask you this. Which one of these dudes do you think is gonna get laid? This guy?

or this guy?

Case and point. Thank God that ride’s over.

Comments
2 Responses to “Activision Kills Guitar Hero….Thank Fuck”
  1. crankypants says:

    Thank you. I think you are the first guy I’ve seen (at least under 50) who isn’t into all that stuff. I always thought Guitar Hero was retarded (for anyone over 16 anyway). Someone had it (or the other one, wasn’t there another one like it?) set up in the back of their car for people to play outside the Nick Cave show in Philly in 2008. If my eyes were laser beams they would have burned that shit up. It made me feel dirty having to stand so close to it while waiting for Nick Fricking Cave and Warren Ellis & Co.
    Excellent illustration of your point at the end! ha!

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