Billie Joe Armstrong Doesn’t Know When to Quit, Produces Son’s New Band

There isn’t much else I can say about Billie Joe Armstrong that hasn’t already been said, yet he’s one of those people you can make fun of a lot and it never gets old. Maybe it’s cause he’s just so persistant at dumbing down another generation of pre-teens and turning them onto emo garbage like My Chemical Romance? Either way, I can’t wait for the day that Hot Topic goes out of business and this dude loses what’s left of his annoying fanbase (Once again, Noel Gallagher said it best, “Green Day fans, I fooking hate ’em.”). But before that glorious day, it looks like Armstong is keen on letting his son join the family business. And God help us.

You know the expression “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree?” Very true in this case, especially if that apple hit EVERY branch on the way down. And this is a big fucking tree. The band’s called Emily’s Army and their debut is called Don’t Be A Dick. I feel like that does an accurate enough job summarizing how terrible this band is going to be and I haven’t even talked about the music yet. Joey (Armstrong’s son) plays drums. Earlier this week, the posers at SPIN Magazine debuted the “exclusive” new track “Broadcast This,” which the band describes as a “middle finger to radio”. It includes the lyrics “I don’t want to listen to what’s on the radio / Boring music, depressing talk shows… It would be nice to hear something that I musically enjoy / So I think you want to learn to broadcast this!!!” While this will probably end up being what emo kids blare in the car while their parents take them to the mall, Billie says that the band has a “youthful punk attitude.” This dude STILL doesn’t get it.

Billy, we know he’s your son and all, but quit putting his hopes up. While we’re at it, you’re almost 40, so quit wearing make up and singing songs about being in high school and masterbation and doobies. It’s embarrasing and would make even Charles Manson go “dude, that’s fucked up.” Take all the royalties you’ve made from doing that broadway musical shit and hang it up.

If you really want to subject yourself to the torture of this band’s new tune, check it out below. I don’t know when the album drops, but I can’t say I really care.

Broadcast This! – Emily’s Army

2 Responses to “Billie Joe Armstrong Doesn’t Know When to Quit, Produces Son’s New Band”
  1. Jordan Canio says:

    But I cared enough to write about it!

    • Jordan Canio says:

      “You’re mean to my band. I don’t care cause I’m sure no one reads your blog but I’m gonna keep checking it and drop little comments when Pizza Hut is closed. Totally not insecure brah. Totally not….”

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