SuperHeavy Emerges, Probably Will Suck

Say what you will about the later part of the Stones catalog. 2005’s A Bigger Bang wasn’t too bad and they’re still some of the coolest old people ever. Keith Richards meant it when he said he’s gonna play til he croaks. The only one who doesn’t seem as committed is lead singer Mick Jagger. At least to the Stones that is. I mean, it could all stem from Richards basically calling Jagger out in his awesome memoirs he released last year, but then again, it’s always been a volatile relationship. While I’m definitely a bigger fan of Richards, the emergence of Jagger’s new project, SuperHeavy, doesn’t help sway my bias.

Miracle Worker – SuperHeavy

SuperHeavy is a supergroup, which is normally a bad idea. There are a couple of cool supergroups (Them Crooked Vultures, the Traveling Wilburys and Cream), but for every one cool supergroup, there’s about sixty ones that have gone horribly wrong (Chickenfoot, Audioslave, The Postal Service, Zwan, Velvet Revolver, etc.). What makes the latter bands fall apart is a lack of chemistry and how certain band members blow it way too hard. They end with everyone feeling embarrassed and running back to their own groups. This wouldn’t be the first time Jagger has done something embarrassing either.

Dancing in the Streets – Mick Jagger and David Bowie

Also, the fact that Joss Stone, the girl who did that god awful cover of the White Stripes (you can’t cover that’s been out for 2 years, that’s just dumb) is in the band doesn’t help my confidence in Super Heavy. If this project gets off the ground, I could see her being the one that makes it sink. I’m not gonna pretend I’m a reggae fan, so I don’t think Damien Marley can save this fucker either. This could end up as a trainwreck in that respect. But then again, if Chickenfoot can soldier on through the stream of shit they’ve released to make another shit album, it’s possible that this band won’t know how to take a hint. I’ll check out the album to see if I’ve misjudged, but judging by the lack of talent in the project, I’m not too worried about being wrong.

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