Shitlist Vol. 4

Sorry I’ve been absent for a bit. School’s trying to kill me again so I’ve had shit to do. Jon contributed to this one a lot. Dude’s getting better at hating shit than I am (and that’s saying something) Anyways, without further ado, here’s shit that’s pissing us off.

– One Direction has been hailed as “The Next Beatles” because they have success over here in America. Where’s Mark Chapman when you need him?

– Gene Simmons hates the fact that he’s never been inducted into the Rock N’ Roll Hall of Fame. He’s probably just upset that he’s not getting another paycheck for selling out or the fact that no one cares what a bunch of old people in clown make-up do musically.

– Bobby Womack got diagnosed with colon cancer, yet Justin Bieber, Dave Mustaine, and Ryan Seacrest still continue to walk the earth in good condition.

– Tom Cruise has been tapped to play Kurt Cobain in a new Clint Eastwood movie that would follow what would happen if Kurt hadn’t commited suicide and went on to live. That makes me want to blow my head off.

– If anyone wants to buy me a ticket to Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros, just give me the cash. They are more boring than church.

– Remember how MIA used to brag about being non-mainstream/making a difference and then went off on that one reporter from the New York Times who called her out on being a poser? Now MIA’s on that wrinkled skin bag Madonna’s new single and appears in the video with fucking pom-poms. Viva la revolution, indeed.

-Saw Birdcloud the other night. GIMMICK-ery at its finest. Two girls singing about vaginas and shit. If it were two guys, they would be persecuted as perverts. They are kinda cute though.

– I keep seeing tons of press on The Paperhead like they are the heir to the Nashville throne or something. People are like “wow they are so young and they play such intersting psychedelic music.” In reality, it sounds like they heard one Syd Barett song and stopped listening to music all together. And have you seen them live? You guessed it, they fucking blow. Their record is extremely overproduced, which makes their performances less than enthralling. If you cant back it up on stage, dont put it on a record.

– Did you hear about the Electric Daisy Carnival scam. DO you give a fuck what Electric Daisy Carnival is? (if you dont know its a giant EDM rave thats held in large arenas, basically the holy grail of shitty music and even shittier hippies). Apparently their founder has been runnin some intense under-the-table scams with the guy who runs the LA Coliseum. Now there is a major lawsuit and they’re facing jail time. Ladies and gentleman, this is what dubstep does to your brain. It makes you completely delusional.

– On the subject of the worst thing to happen to music since boy bands (some call it dubstep), here is a link of some dub-alicious photos of Skrillex before he made the jump from emo-pussy-bitch-hackjob to his current form. As if you needed anymore proof of his unbridled ignorance, here it is anyway.

One Response to “Shitlist Vol. 4”
  1. DOUG FUNNY says:

    yeah PAPERHEAD sucks. everyone knows that though, except ben, he didn’t get the memo, he just bought more lotion to give them handjobs online.

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