Shitlist Vol. 8

Surprise, shit heads! You didn’t really think I was gonna let the year end without releasing another one of these, did ya? Fuck no. I gotta have a clean slate for the start of next year. Who knows? Along the way, I might pick up an extra thing or two before 2012 finally winds down! Well, I guess this is inventory until the next one at least. I gotta give props to my buddy Mikey Owen of Little Viking for tipping me off about the Axl Rose one (you’ll see). Anyways, see you in 2013, kids. We may have a few more things up our sleeves besides lists, but I don’t want to spoil the fun just yet. Remember, love letters and death threats are welcome in the comments section.

– I think the Ramones are overrated as fuck, but even I don’t think they deserve what Cee Lo Green did:

or this

You sure all you like is football, Cee Lo? I feel like you’re leaving out Krispy Cream and being a complete ass clown.

– Green Day’s in some hot water. No, I’m not talking about Billie Joe Armstrong being a brat and bitching his way into rehab. It turns out the band learnt the hard way that releasing a trilogy of albums in a year is not a good idea. Each album has undersold the band’s usual amount of sales (they usually are able to sell 100,000 units in a week, but these new albums have been barely charting that when COMBINED). Maybe even their fans got sick of hearing the same old shitty pop-punk songs, let alone 3 albums worth of shitty pop-punk songs.

– I think Cy, Josh and Mimi are all cool people, but as far as their band Slammers goes, can we call a spade a spade? It’s not very good and the only reason they get headlining shows is because of the people involved and not the music itself.

-Can we please stop Gangam Style now? It was funny for five minutes, but the amount of frat boy douchebags doing parodies that only them and their friends find funny is getting ridiculous. This thing is the fucking “Margarita Song” of our generation. Let it die. Quickly.

– Is it me or does Bruno Mars have one of those faces that’s extremely punchable?

– Gene Simmons wants to have re-enact the shower scene from American History X with that rapist-looking dude who sings/yells/whines in Linkin Park. I shit you not. Google it.

– The Stones 50th anniversary tour concluded in New Jeresy a few days ago. Out of all the talented female singers they have out there, they had to bring out Lady Gaga to sing “Gimme Shelter.” I actually dug it when they did it with that chick from Florence and the Machine, but Lady Gaga looked like a wacky waving inflatable tube man through out the entire performance.

– Lars Ulrich promises guitar solos on Metallica’s new album. Promising good tunes is another story……

– You guys remember that one band that got so offended by me not liking their music? Wait, let me narrow that down for ya: that one band with 8 guitarists (even though they all play power chords), a fat drummer who had a tendency to wear pizza party hats and had bad songs about ghost with boners? The band that had this attitude that they were “punk as fuck” because they had a name that started with another word for shit and didn’t let the fact that they were all complete pussies get in the way of that? If you’re still lost, I’m talking about Diarrhea Planet……or should I say D.P.? That’s right, kids. That band that got so offended by what I said and tried to act all punk is now changing their name to something more family-friendly so that they can get more shows and lose the negative stigmatism towards them. Yeah Casey! Punk as fuck, bro!

– Oh Axl! You don’t sound a day over however old you are. Just for shits and gigs though, can anyone tell the difference between:

this video

or this one

– I have no idea who Demi Lovato is, but this is awesome. I’d want this dude to write for the Shitlist in 2013, but he forgot to call out Simon Cowell. C’mon dude. At least tell Brittney to eat a mountain of pills and shave her head again. Yeesh, I gotta hold everyones’ hand nowadays?

Comments
One Response to “Shitlist Vol. 8”
  1. AHAHAHAHA says:

    hahahahahahaha slammers comment is so true. how the fuck is some shitty band headlining over ranch ghost? cause whoever booked it acts like this is still high school and puts a band with “popular kids (rich kids who parents pay for them tour when their bands make zero $)” above a band who draws a crowd. jesus that was great.

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