RANT: Wearing Your Own Band’s T-Shirt – QUIT THAT SHIT ALREADY!

I gotta get this off my chest or else it’s gonna give me a tumor: if you’re in a band and have merchandise, never (and I mean NEVER) are you permitted to wear your own band’s t-shirt or anything else with your band’s name on it. For real, I shouldn’t have to be saying this shit. It’s 2013, for fuck’s sake. If we can put people on the moon and begin the process of legalizing weed in this country, then surely we should be smart enough at this point in time to catch on to this. It’s so tacky and cringeworthy that I’m getting creeped out just thinking about it right now.

I have to ask what do you people expect? I’m going to guess that at very least, you’re trying to promote your band. Ignoring the actual good avenues to do this like playing shows, recording music or what have you, you’ve decided to turn yourself into the tackiest walking billboard. You’re signifying that you are completely cool with performing the same function as a company car that has the name painted on the back of the windshield. Ask yourself, if you’re in a band (and a so-called “rock ‘n’ roll band” at that), do you want to be preforming the same function as a company car?

Secondly, I’m guessing that some of you are naive enough to be hoping that this will be a great conversation starter. Let’s ignore the probability of this ever happening, cause even though the odds are low, I’ll admit stranger shit has happened. So if it does, you might feel like you’re prepared! Once someone comes up to you and says “hey man, that’s a cool shirt,” you’ve got your foot in the door! You can respond with the classic line, “thanks! It’s actually my band. We play 8 off 8th every Tuesday and every other two-bit open mic night every other night!” And then you’ll be able to sprout off numerous plugs to your guys’ bandcamp where you’re giving away the new single for free or even encourage him to check out your guys’ Facebook page for when you’ll play the next show (you might even have the web address printed on the back of your shirt for convenience). Hell, you might even ask them to donate to your Kickstarter so you guys can get your next EP recorded at some shit studio your buddy set up in his basement. These people are surely never going to regret starting up a conversation with a total stranger again!

Or maybe you’re thinking that it’ll help people know who you are when you guys play onstage. That way, if somebody walks in from the bar and can’t figure out who’s this band playing this less than subpar music, they can look at you to figure it out!

Or you can simply learn this lesson: quit doing that shit or stay at home.

P.S. This also applies to bloggers who wear their own shirts. I see you, No Country For New Nashville!

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Comments
2 Responses to “RANT: Wearing Your Own Band’s T-Shirt – QUIT THAT SHIT ALREADY!”
  1. YOU A MEAN NIGGA– BUT ITS SO TRUE. WHY DO YOU SAY SHOW ME THESE CRUEL TRUTHS? I REMEMBER NOT KNOWING WHAT WAR WAS, OR STUFF N SUCH….

    – EX MOTLEY CREW MEMBER AND STUFF N SUCH MAJOR HATER BENJI ETKINS JR.

  2. I wear my bands shirt all the time cause we FUCKING RULE! IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT, BUY A 7″ AND LEARN SOMETHING. If you don’t like it- then you just don’t get it. I mean we fucking made an italian 7″ limited to 500 copies, this was…like, some Kim Kardashian status shit. I was king bro, we played like 30 shows in europe for like 100 people,SO STEP BACK N TAKE NOTES, or I’m just have to come at you with the ak and the sk all like BRATATATATATATATATATAT, uno, YAWNS NIGGA.

    – Steve (i am black, don’t even joke about the white name or im all BRATATATATATATAT outside cho do-step 1-00)

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