5 Reasons Kings of Leon Should Fuck Off For Good

I guess they’re coming back for more. Today, Kings of Leon announced that they are going to try and make a comeback after their careers crashed and burned two years ago. To my actual surprise, some people are pretty stoked about this and to those people, all I can ask is “why do you want a band that went down in such a spectacular shit show to come back and do it all over again?” If you need some convincing, here’s my 5 reasons why Kings of Leon should stay down and out.


Lately, they seem to be trying to imply that they were a major influence in cultivating/putting out a lot of the good music that’s come out of Nashville. I say this after viewing AllSaints Film short New Music City. The brothers are interviewed more than anyone else in the film and they seem to imply that they were the saviors of Nashville…..even though most of the decent stuff here rock-wise had started to pick up AFTER Kings of Leon shit the bed. I mean, Be Your Own Pet didn’t really have a connection to Kings of Leon (that I know of) when they first started up and by the time Turbo Fruits and JEFF started putting out great/ear-catching records, it was 2009 and Kings of Leon weren’t involved with anything locally yet.

Also, if Kings of Leon think they are the saviors of Nashville, then maybe they ought to check out a person called JACK WHITE. Everyone who knows me knows that I don’t like to give Jack Gillis (his real name) anymore credit than what’s actually due, but compared to Kings of Leon, Gillis had a MUCH larger role in putting Nashville music on the map. Sure, Kings of Leon have just started putting out records of local acts, but Gillis was doing that before WAY before them; also, he also runs his Willy Wonka-style record company out of here, and cooperates with locals to hold modest priced shows in it. Or maybe, like me, you don’t want to credit the pushers of great music as much as the great music itself, such as the talented number of Nashville bands that were around before all of that noise. With that said, get real dudes. You guys didn’t save shit. You only cashed in.


For being “good ole southern boys,” they sure act like prima donnas. I’ve heard multiple stories of these dudes acting like grade-A pretentious douchebags. For more, please see:

Exhibit A:

Their behavior towards other bands at festivals.

Exhibit B:

The same old tired speech Caleb used to give, but when a bunch of Brits weren’t having it, he cried about it.

and Exhibit C:

Granted, this is just a picture, but even though a picture is worth a thousand words, I think “douche” will more than suffice for now.


Also, for being such good ole southern boys, they sure can’t hold their liquor for shit.


They haven’t made a good record in years. Their last two efforts have been the very definition of selling out, jumping shark, or what have you. A lot of the tunes are bottom line unlistenable unless you like date-rape anthems for visor-wearing, Natty Light drinking frat boys. And before you start with the whole “but the new leaked tunes sound like a return to form,” really? They sound like a return to form to you and not these guys realizing “shit, our last two albums made everyone think we blow so why don’t we just rehash our old shit and see if that brings us back popularity; it worked so well before!”? I’m banking on the latter personally, but even if it’s not true, the new tunes are still pretty weak. Especially for a band trying to make a comeback.


If you aren’t convinced yet, just remember that they wrote this song and subjected everyone to it for a 2 year period. Do you really want a repeat of this?

The prosecution rests.

One Response to “5 Reasons Kings of Leon Should Fuck Off For Good”
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  1. […] secret that I don’t like Kings of Leon. In fact, if you flip back a while ago, you can find my 5 reasons for why you shouldn’t like them either. However, my hatred for the band can only be countered by my love for the hilarious It’s […]

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