Metallica to (Sorta) Play Antarctica Because……..???

I’ve never really touched on Metallica on this site. It’s not like I’m a big fan really. All of their best stuff was way before my time and all their stuff during my time has been pretty jive. They might be talented dudes, but in the last 10-15 years, they’ve portrayed themselves, well, something like this.

If you haven’t seen that clip yet, you’re very welcome. “BEER! GOOD!” Anyways, I’ve tried to cut them some slack because they are metal legends, even if the only album I can honestly say I’ve listened to front to back was Master of Puppets. However, for every cool step they take forward, I feel like they take a couple of steps back. For example, their recently released concert film Through the Never is supposed to be pretty dope (even though it’s burnt a hole in their pocket) and I figured I’d catch that on DVD. However, then they announced that they were considering auctioning off their unused guitar riffs on eBay (which, if the riffs weren’t good enough for what followed St. Anger, how good can they really be?). Between that and Lulu (which I’ve forgiven due to the recent passing of Lou), my uninterest in them was hard to dissuade. Until they announced their latest and greatest announcement: the band is playing a gig on Antarctica.

“After over 30 years as a band, we have been unbelievably fortunate to visit just about every corner of the earth . . . except for one,” say the band. “That is all about to change as we are set travel to Antarctica, the only continent that Metallica has never played on until now!! We are partnering with Coca-Cola Zero for one of the most unique and special concert events in our career as we’ll be performing near the heliport of the Argentine Antarctic Base Carlini on Sunday, December 8, 2013.

“Latin American fans in Argentina, Chile, Colombia, Costa Rica, and Mexico will be able to enter a contest for the chance to win an Antarctic cruise that sails December 3-10 and will stop at Carlini. We’ll be playing inside a dome on the base and in another twist, the show will be transmitted to the audience via headphones with no amplification . . . a real first for us! The show will also be streamed live for our friends in those Latin American countries who cannot join us at the base and filmed to share with everyone at a later date.”

Come again? Playing in a dome and making the entire audience wear headphones? How exactly do we know you guys aren’t pantomiming that shit? Whatever. If you’re a big Metallica fan who also has a weird interest in visiting a literal sheet of ice and watching your favorite band play with headphones on, then more power to you. I think I’ll save my cash. Like James Hetfield (probably) says, “MONEY GOOD!”

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