An Open Letter to Wayne Coyne

Dear Wayne Coyne,

We get it. You’re a weirdo. For you, it’s not enough to just let your freak flag fly; you’ve got to publicly defecate on it and burn it as well. We know this. In fact, you’ve made a career out of it the past few years with the whole “floating around in a bubble” schtick, which wasn’t weird enough for you, so you had to follow it with a cover album for Dark Side of the Moon. When that wasn’t enough, it was chocolate candy skulls, blood-filled records, MORE needless cover albums, 24-hour songs, and a bunch of other useless shit that only diehard Lips fans (are there anymore of those?) would eat up with a fucking shovel.

So you win, man. You’ve outdone the most prominent weirdos in the game (Jack White included) and you continue to do so with your oh-so kooky ideas. Well La-Di-fucking-Da. Here’s the thing though, it doesn’t matter at this point. You’ve gone from being on the David Bowie end of the spectrum to being on the Lady Gaga end of it; in other words, you’ve turned yourself from being an artist with weird ideas to being a complete gimmick. Does anyone even care about what the Flaming Lips do musically anymore? Is there time for your actual music after you’ve just announced that you’ve recorded a “companion” album to Dark Side of the Moon (also, who has fucking time for that)? Do your records even matter anymore? Well, maybe the Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots or The Soft Bulletin, but otherwise, nah. Not at all even. Because even if you do write another song that sticks, I’m sure it’ll be overshadowed by whatever grandiose-but-needless schemes you come up with before or after it.

In fact, you want to really weird us out and do something off the wall that throws us all for a loop? Write a good record and let it stand without the bells and whistles that you usually super-glue onto it.

Yours in Christ,

Jordan Canio

One Response to “An Open Letter to Wayne Coyne”
  1. Will says:

    So fucking spot on..

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

  • Stuff from the Past

%d bloggers like this: